clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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