is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
