I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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