so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
