K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I will die if light touches me.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
