There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
