Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
