marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
