Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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