first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
