dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my poor anus
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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