I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
