I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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