I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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