Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
