I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
