and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
