How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
