There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
