And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
