dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
foreskin is a definite game changer
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
