he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
