Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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