Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
