Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
