Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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