i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
