I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
