somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
