i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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