She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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