you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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