Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
