chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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