that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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