we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
God, I missed his penis.
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