She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
