I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
