she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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