Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
