He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
