were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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