fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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