he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
vagina is talking i cant
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
