I feel great
I just peed on a car
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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