I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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