counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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