Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
