Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
