Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
