let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
