we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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