the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
