Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
