Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I die, sorry about rent.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
