***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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